Through the eyes of a child

Now it’s time too start me, from birth and on, as much or as good as I can remember, so now lets take this time machine and go all the back too April 17 1989…. I was born in Whitecourt General Hospital, (either 12 am or 12 pm, i’m not sure) baby girl with her fathers blue eyes and mother’s kind soul, ready too take on the new world that lies before her. Of course i don’t member much from this age, I do however remmber coming up to my mom while she was at work with pants to my ankles saying “mommy i did it, i went on the potty”, and a few memories from elementary school like meeting my BFF on a bridge in grade one at the school playground, we were both friends with this girl Alex, and became friends instantlly and still are friends today, I also remember having trouble spelling my name, my parents were mean giving me soo many syllables lol. There was also my first crush Jordon, whom i gave a kiss on the cheek while we sat on a pillow watching some dinosaur movie in the classroom. Another great, staying up all night with my sister playing Mario 3 and tom sawyer

The fondest memories were with my dad, they’re the kind you keep locked up in your heart, and never letting go. He had many jobs delivering stuff, and he enjoyed my company and would get me too tag along alot of the times. He also had this thing were i would hold his thumb while crossing the street, so daddy’s little girl was safe. My dad had a big impact on me and although i love him dearly, he caused me alot of grief and heartache growing up.

My opa, was getting very sick with Cancer, and it did a number on my dad, he started going way downhill and became a user of hard drugs. I was still a mere child at this time, not even a teenager, and I had too watch him slowly kill himself over and over everyday. My mom had a hard time coping and went too alcohol, so neverless, i was a broken child in a broken home. My sister couldn’t handle it so at 16 she packed her bags and moved on, running too drugs herself( she however is clean today and i could not be any prouder). It ended up being me a young naive child with literaly no home too come too, and my self esteem slowly plateaued from there on, making school hard on me as well.

I was never popular, but i was under everyone’s radar, seeing as i was so weak and emotionally wrecked. I was an easy target for popular kids to drag down, too boost there self esteem, and it eventually became a day to day thing. Making a fool of myself in GR7 and pissing my pants never helped much-it wasn’t my fauly, we had an exam and the teacher wouldn’t let me leave…sooo you can put two and two together Go to school, be the public target for humiliation, than go home and watch as life slowly became more and more colder and alone. I spent alot of my time locked up in my bedroom playing Zelda, or whatever other game I had. My self esteem was so low, i would give guys head, just cause i thought it gave me some appreciation. I would go out sometimes,I wasn’t so washed up, were i became a corpse body of myself, but at times it was very close.Friends i made in the trailerpark and my few good friends at school were my escape. My cousin Trina too i have many good memories with her, which i could actually go on, but i will save that for another time.

I eventually moved too the city, it took my sister and my cousin Trina and my aunt to push my mom forward in the right direction to pack her bags and get the hell out of this so called place we called home, we moved to Edmonton were my mom went to school, and we lived with my aunt and cousin. It was weird for me though going to a bigger school, meeting new people, it got to be too much, and stupid as it sounds i moved back with my dad, and lets just say he got worse.

I had my friends,(well no one from school at this point i hungout with the potjhead-party animals) i was in an environment that was familuar too me, i wasn’t in school however and would just smoke weed all day and veg out lol. I didn’t really spend alot of time at home, i basaicly lived with my friend Ashlyn and her dad, and that was fine. Smoke a joint kill zombies on resident evil, life was pretty content at that time, eventually i would need smokes though and have too stay at my dad’s for a few days, were well i didn’t really have a room, it was more like a halfway house for crackheads…I think this went on for about a year until my sister Brandy and Trina, came to Whitecourt with one thing on thier minds…were bringing this girl home, and it worked with no struggle for them, Brandy said i will give you a smoke if you come home with us, and i agreed, it was getting too much for me here, so we took whatever i had, and travelled to Edmonton, were i would slowly mend my wounds and heal whatever was broken inside.

And this is were i will end it for now,

much love,

Chantelle, and yes this is a bit scattered but i had too add some things lol


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